Mother-Daughter Bonds: A Friendship for Life

Leisa:

Hey, besties. My name is Lisa.

Tamara:

And my name is Tamara, and we're BFFs.

Leisa:

Tamara and I met when we were about 12 years old growing up in good old Fairbanks, Alaska.

Tamara:

And we've been best friends forever since.

Leisa:

That's right. And that's why we've decided to have some fun, friendly conversations with the bestest of best friends.

Tamara:

We'll talk about how we became best friends, our experiences together, and have other best friends on the show to share how they met. Who knows? You never

Leisa:

know when you'll meet your next BFF.

Tamara:

Now let's get into it, how I met my BFF.

Leisa:

Welcome to another episode of How I Met My BFF podcast. Hi, Tamara.

Tamara:

Hey, Lisa. How's it going?

Leisa:

How are you? I haven't talked to you in a 1000000 years. It feels like it's been forever. It's probably been, like, a month, but I think that's kind of a long time. So, they no?

Leisa:

No. Okay. It feels longer to me Yeah. In my mind.

Tamara:

Well, I've just been we have our harvest at the Vineyard the past, I guess, like, going on 3 weeks now. We had kind of it was over a 2 week period and now we're pressing. So I just have been working literally from about 4 in the morning to 10 or 11 at night every day.

Leisa:

Oh my gosh. Those grapes these grapes are waiting for no one. They need

Tamara:

Yeah. Not it's not all been grape related, but it's just been a lot. So but, we're coming we're finishing up. We're at the finish line.

Leisa:

Oh, good. Okay. Cool. Yay. I know I think I need to market my calendar next year.

Leisa:

Harvest time, don't talk to Tamara for 3 weeks. Well, I woke up to a fun thing this morning. I so I'm I'm in bed, and I get this email from someone who's in New York City, and she said, I'm at event I'm at an event, a big women's conference, and she said, the speaker just quoted you and gave you a shout out on stage. And it's my friend I'm gonna give her a shout out. Her name is Diane Forster, and she helps people create their own TV shows.

Leisa:

So I was like, thank you, Diane, for that. But that was kind of a cool thing to wake up to. I was like, wow. I'm sweeping the nation this morning, so that was really exciting. I I imagine she was talking about speaking or get speaking gigs now or something like that.

Leisa:

I I don't know what the quote was, but that was pretty cool. And I'm excited for our guest today because we have, our very first mother daughter duo, best friend duo, and so I cannot wait. They have been they have their own podcast and they've even had a TV show, and so I'm just so excited to dive in and hear about your relationship. Welcome, Dawn and Cher.

Cher:

Thank you so much for having us. We're excited to chat too. So excited.

Leisa:

I know. I love it. So, obviously, we kinda know how you met, I think. I mean, I'm guessing. Wow.

Leisa:

But but give us the you know, as a mom's perspective, like, how did that how was that meeting your daughter for the very first time?

Dawn:

Well, let me tell you. I have 2 boys that are older. And then I got pregnant with Cher. I didn't know I was gonna have a girl because at that time they did, they didn't do soda grams unless it was necessary. So, everyone thought I was having a boy because I was so big and I carried the same way as I did with my boys and they would stop their cars and they'd go, it's a boy.

Dawn:

And I said, oh, I don't want to hear that. So then when she came out, I, they said it's a girl. And the first reaction was I said, really? Because I was sure it was gonna be another boy. And I'm such a girly girl, and I was so excited.

Dawn:

And when I had her in my arms, I even said to her, you're gonna be my best friend. Oh, I

Leisa:

did. You got like goosebumps. My friend.

Dawn:

And from an early on, I spoke with her. I talked about everything with her. I made, I think, grow up before her time because we just spoke about everything. So I think we got comfortable talking about everything.

Leisa:

Wow. That's so beautiful. Yes. I love how you just you did that, like, and without even knowing what was gonna come, you know, in your life later that you had that instant instant reaction. That is so cool.

Dawn:

Connection. It was, like, unbelievable. Mhmm.

Cher:

And I think we've always, you know, we've always been very close. Of course, we had our ups and downs, but any friendship has as well. But my mom always kept such open communication with me where we can really talk about anything, and, like, nothing was off limits. There was no, like, oh, it's weird to talk to your mom about this. She always was made me feel very comfortable, which actually was really good because, you know, in middle school or high school when you're going through those awkward phases and you don't know who to necessarily turn to, I was able to turn to my mom and ask her questions that a lot of people would only ask their best friend.

Cher:

But because my mom truly was my best friend, I was able to come to her and she made me feel comfortable.

Dawn:

Inside, I was dying. Let me tell you. Because some of those were unbelievable, but I never showed it, and I just answered it matter of factly, and I wanted her to be able to be comfortable.

Cher:

And, like, growing up, we would always feel like I always knew she was, you know, she was my mom. Like, she'd wear her mom hat, and I knew not to, like, overstep or anything. But as I've gotten older, we've able we like, she'll always be my mom, of course, but we've been able to really transition the relationship into a best friendship where she'll come to me right before this episode. We were going through, you know, the clothes in my closet, and I was helping her pick out an outfit to wear it to an event. And, you know, she'll help we'll go shopping together and hang out and talk to each other about everything.

Cher:

And so, it's really nice being able to have my mom as my best friend because, you know, she's seen me at my worst and been there for me at my best and cheered me on throughout. So it's been very special.

Leisa:

Wow. Wow. I love that. When when did you for you, Cher, just being in the daughter role, when did you start to kind of realize that your mom your relationship with your mom is maybe a little different than other people's relationship with their mom, like, as a, you know, on that friend zone?

Cher:

I feel like when I was you know, I've always felt like our relationship was a little different because I always wanted to hang out with my mom. Like, I loved hanging out with her. And my most fun days were our days just hanging out together, going shopping.

Dawn:

It still is.

Cher:

It still is. You know? It still is. It really is. And we've always just been so close, and she's always been, like, my biggest cheerleader.

Cher:

So, you know, why wouldn't you wanna hang out with someone who's really, like, encouraging you and, you know, bringing you up, like, put you know, and I always have confidence. Having your back. And so, you know, I did notice that it was a little weird or unconventional, but I feel like, you know, why shouldn't your mom be your best friend? Because she's seen you throughout all your ups and downs in life. And so, it's definitely yeah.

Cher:

I've definitely noticed it was different, but I'm happy to have it.

Dawn:

Oh, wow. Through those middle school years Mhmm. It was hard. Don't get me wrong. We did have our arguments just like everybody else has their arguments, even with best friends.

Dawn:

It's about getting through it and getting stronger from it.

Leisa:

Mhmm. Yeah. Well and when you have that kind of honesty, that's gonna happen. I mean, you're if she's, you know, as the daughter willing to tell you kind of everything, you I'm sure are gonna, like you mentioned, hear things that you're like, oh my gosh. Even though I'm glad she's telling me, I don't wanna say the wrong thing or react the wrong way or want her to be hurting.

Leisa:

I I remember when my daughter's first, like, kind of heartbreak and she's like, mom, when is this gonna go away? And I was just like, oh my gosh, I wish I could take that pain away. You know? Totally. You don't ever wanna see them sad or upset or anything.

Cher:

Right. Definitely.

Leisa:

What would you what do you so you guys go shopping. Like, what are some things that you guys do when you're together and having fun?

Dawn:

Well, we have a podcast together. Yeah. Chattermouth.

Leisa:

Tell us the name of your podcast. What's your podcast name?

Cher:

It's called Chattermouth Podcast because we're always chatting about everything, and we have really big smiles. So we're very smiling. You could see, like, the logo is just, like, big smiles, big lip big teeth, big lips, all of that because that's, like

Leisa:

in your family, I could be, like, the honorary

Cher:

Oh, yeah.

Dawn:

You would. You would.

Cher:

But we're always chatting. We just love to sit and talk and have a cup of coffee Yeah. And just have our girl time, which is why we originally started the podcast. So that's something we love doing, but we love doing, you know, everything together. We love going shopping.

Cher:

We love going just for coffee and sitting and talking.

Dawn:

We we actually wrote a book together. Oh, yes. That was really wonderful.

Cher:

Yeah. So we have a book

Dawn:

about your book.

Cher:

Yeah. Or is it around it's right around there.

Leisa:

Is it called chatter mouse as well?

Cher:

It's not. No. It's called a bond that lasts Forever, and it's how we got so close and how you can too. So it goes over all our, like, ups and downs, our obstacles and how we got through it and how we became as close as we are today. So, we wrote this how many years ago now?

Cher:

9. 6 years ago. Something like that. Yeah. And, yeah, you know, we wanted to inspire other mothers and daughters that to create their own special bond and their own special relationship because I don't we wanna show it doesn't have to be weird or, silly to be friends with your mom because, you know, why not?

Cher:

You know, your mom is just I heard this saying once about how your mom is just like a kid in a grown up's body. Like, they're still learning. You're still learning for the first time how to be a mom, how to parent, everything. And so they're just a little bit older than us and maybe a little bit wiser, but, you know, I think you should give them the respect too to have that opportunity to have that friendship.

Leisa:

Of course. Wow. And then you also were on it TV show.

Cher:

Yeah. So we were that. Sorry. Yes, we were. It was called Smothered on TLC, and it's a TV show.

Cher:

We were on it for 4 seasons. Basically, it's about our relationship and about being basically best friends with our moms and how sometimes it can come off as smothering, maybe a little bit too much because your mom is always around and, you know, always so involved, but, you know, we're happy to have it that way because I love having my mom around. I'm always whenever she comes over, you know, I have a daughter, who's 5, and when she comes over, it's so great. When she leaves, I, you have no one to help there's not as much help around, and I'm like, don't go. Don't go.

Cher:

I love having you here. It just makes life more fun.

Leisa:

Wow. What I I live in the area where the Real Housewives of Orange County at, like, that's, like, they're in my neighborhood. It's the first, like, kind of, like, reality show like that. But yeah. Actually, I was secret tip, I was on one episode

Cher:

a long time ago,

Dawn:

but it will never

Leisa:

be aired again. That's okay. That's okay. That's okay. That's so sweet.

Cher:

On for? That's so fun.

Leisa:

It's such a weird story. I I used to own this a day spa in, look, in, Laguna Niguel, and a woman who, was friends with some of the people on the show, she did injections and, you know, things like that. And so she booked it and anyway. So there's Oh, cool. It's a weird story.

Leisa:

But, yeah, I was on it for, like, a hot second. If you blinked, you would've missed it. But 4 seasons, that's a long time to Yeah. I I think it would be I don't know. What was your experience being on a show like that?

Leisa:

What did you learn about your relationship, yourself going through that experience?

Cher:

Mhmm. Life's about creating memories, I think. And so just being able to you know, before being on this show, we were on another show called, my super sweet 16 on MTV. And so we were first on that show, then we were another show called Exiled MTV and then Smothered for 4 seasons. And so You've been here for a while.

Cher:

So we've been doing it since I was since I was 6 15, I guess, that we were filming since then. And so, you know, being able to do it with my mom is so fun because you're always have a little bit of anxiety going in front of a camera, of course, especially during interviews. But the best interviews are the fact when I'm with my mom because she's right there with me and we're under, like, the camera where they can't see. We're, like, squeezing each other's hands sometimes and, like, it's just special because if I have lipstick in my teeth, I don't have to wait until the cam you know, till the show comes out to be like, share your lipstick on your teeth. Like, my mom is right there to be like can't all wipe that off right now.

Cher:

You know? Yeah. Exactly. So it's special and wonderful having my mom, like, on TV with me.

Dawn:

And, you know, it's about creating memories. Everything's about making memories. And, like, on national TV with Smothered, Cher actually told me she was pregnant with her daughter Belle now. And that is, like, when we watch it back, we cry to this day. I'm still crying hearing it because it was so emotional and so special.

Dawn:

And the same thing when she on national TV had a gender reveal and she didn't know whether she was gonna have a boy and girl. And it's and it came out that she was having a girl that we were screaming because we didn't know it, and it aired on national TV. So those memories you just have forever. Mhmm.

Leisa:

Wow. That is so exciting to have your life documented like that, those special moments. I that's incredible. Yeah. Tamara, do you do you wanna say anything?

Leisa:

I sometimes I can be the chatty one. Did you wanna say anything?

Tamara:

Yeah. Well, I guess my the first thing I wanted to ask was how do your significant others because it's already hard, you know, having a, you know, a mom figure and then bringing in a significant other or dating or, you know, how do how does that work out?

Dawn:

Well, it works out very good now because I might not share when her husband is in work. And when he comes home, I leave right away. So I'm not in the away. Same thing. You know, if her home is home, if Jared is home, he'll she'll tell me he's home, and I don't call.

Dawn:

Otherwise, we're texting and calling all day long, little things. You know? So but when she was living in New York when her husband was going through, his residency and I would come to visit, that was a little more difficult because I stayed with them for, like, a week at a time. So it's much easier now because I could run as soon as he gets home.

Cher:

We found balance. Yes. But I think it was always intimidating, you know, having boyfriends growing up, like, coming home and meeting my mom, but they you know, my mom and I would always say that we look so much alike, so they'd always say, oh, I know what you're gonna look like in 30 years from now, and they weren't too upset about it. So that's good news. Right?

Leisa:

Good news.

Cher:

And then my dad my dad is my dad, so I think that, you know, he just kind of gets us by now. He's like, oh, those 2.

Dawn:

You know? I say, yeah. It's okay.

Cher:

I keep her busy.

Tamara:

And how is the really quiet though. Sorry. Go ahead.

Leisa:

I was gonna say, is your dad pretty quiet? Or because you guys are talking.

Dawn:

He's more reserved. He's more reserved

Tamara:

than us.

Dawn:

Think we're Yeah.

Cher:

We're the out loud one.

Leisa:

What were you gonna say, Tamara?

Tamara:

Oh, I think we're having a feedback. I was just gonna ask how do your brothers are do you feel like they are have they just grown up with it and it's just they're used to it by now? How how is that?

Dawn:

I'm very close with my sons too. I speak to each one every day. I have my own relationship with both of them, and I love all of them totally equally. It's just different. Way is different than a girl.

Dawn:

A girl, I'm talking about fashion and whatnot. And a boy, my sons, I talk about other things. But I love them all equally. They know it. I have special time with each one, and I make sure of that.

Leisa:

That's beautiful. And I was gonna ask, Cher about your your farm because you just I don't know how new that is for you. Is that that's pretty new?

Cher:

Yeah. Just like over the past year, we've created a farm.

Dawn:

Yeah. She always wanted to have a lot of animals. Yeah.

Cher:

So I have I was living in New York City. Living the city girl life, you know, was so fun. My dream was to one day have a farm. It's all I wanted. So I recently created this.

Cher:

I we moved to Florida 15 minutes from my mom, which is great, and, you know, I started having a farm. So now we have, like, 13 chickens and turkeys, and we have pigs

Dawn:

and Rabbits.

Cher:

Rabbits, Five rabbits and tortoises, and it's amazing. Cats. But that's, like, the one difference between me and my mom. So I love animals. I am, like, you know, vegan.

Cher:

I love animals so much, and my mom, you know, loves them from a distance. She's scared.

Dawn:

The other day, she goes, hold the turkey and go, wow.

Cher:

She's like, what? And she was, like, screaming.

Leisa:

And I was, like, how am

Dawn:

I supposed to do this?

Cher:

And I'm like, just hold him. You know? But so that is the big difference in us. You know, I my mom's I it's time to go out to the farm, and I got my farm boots on. My mom's like, shit.

Cher:

She's in her, like, little heels, like, wait a minute. Oh my god. So a little different.

Dawn:

Sometimes I say, how did I get her?

Cher:

Yeah. That's our big difference.

Leisa:

Yes, honey. Yeah. Tamara's in Montana and has a lot of property, and I live in Orange County, California. So property's a little different situation here. Not that people don't have farms here.

Leisa:

They do. But, yeah, she's had chickens and rabbits and goats. No more goats, though. She doesn't like the goats. No.

Cher:

Really? Oh,

Leisa:

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

Cher:

I'm not I wanna get them soon. Tell them why why no goats.

Tamara:

Oh, I haven't had goats since I was little, but so I don't know what

Leisa:

Oh, I thought you had a goat at the in Montana. No.

Tamara:

I absolutely do not enjoy goats.

Dawn:

No. No. When Cher was little, we had 2 goats, a pygmy goat and and the Arabian goat. Yes. They were wonderful.

Dawn:

So that's a big on the list. Yes.

Cher:

They do eat everything, and they are escape artists. So that I'm a little nervous about, but I'm also excited.

Tamara:

I know people love them. I just, I think it's the smell. I just can't it's not my I mean, I don't like goat cheese, maybe. But it's the smell

Cher:

of the way I Ice goat cheese to me smells like, tastes like the way a goat smells or something. Something like that. I just, like, can't yeah.

Tamara:

That's weird. That maybe that's it. But, yeah. I I keep teasing the kids that we're gonna get alpacas. I do wanna get an alpaca.

Cher:

My husband really wants an alpaca. They're expensive, actually.

Tamara:

Yeah. They're really expensive.

Cher:

Okay. They're beautiful and so cool.

Tamara:

No. That's so cool.

Dawn:

It's interesting. All the animals that Cher has, are animals that that were gonna be given for food, and she takes them because she doesn't want them eaten.

Cher:

Yeah. We're

Dawn:

rescue. Yeah. She rescues all.

Cher:

The all animals are rescue animals. We're vegan, and we, like, we like, the bunnies were actually gonna be turned into bunny meat. We, like,

Dawn:

don't you There's this one old, huge bunny, and she oh, she didn't want it to be you know, it was all auctioned off. And it was going up and up, but she knew they were gonna use it for food, but Cher made sure to get it. And she said that rabbit is not gonna be eaten.

Cher:

It was too fluffy and adorable. Like, you cannot eat this thing. And he's and it's like the sweetest little sweetest rabbit sweetest big rabbit, I should say, not little rabbit. Yeah.

Leisa:

Yeah. I was with Tamara one time when we she bought a rabbit, and I think you already had another rabbit, and then then she had a bunch of rabbits after that.

Cher:

Oh, wow. For a while.

Leisa:

For a while. But rabbits. It's

Cher:

yes. That's too funny.

Leisa:

Is there anything else that you wanna share with our listeners, our bestie listeners?

Cher:

I I love that this is like a bestie podcast. I think once you find a a best friend, it's so special to, like, hold on to that person always. You know, and also just I hope that we can kind of inspire somebody to, like, call pick up the phone and call their mom and, like, have a little bestie day with your mom or your daughter. You know, something that's good is just something as nice as just, like, going out for dinner, the 2 of you. Go grab a drink together, go grab a cup of coffee, even having that special time because you might be surprised on, like, how awesome a friendship with your mom or your daughter can really be.

Dawn:

And it's never too late to start. Even if you weren't close, just start with small baby steps and build on that relationship and create your own bond. Yeah.

Cher:

Oh, I love that. Definitely, follow along our podcast, Chattermouth Podcast. We literally talk about everything. And even though we're mother and daughter, truly nothing is off limits.

Dawn:

And, also, you get different perspectives. You get a a mother sixties in the sixties years old, 64 years old, and a and a a girl that's 34 years old. So different perspectives, and sometimes we agree and sometimes we don't. Yeah. Sometimes we agree to

Cher:

disagree. True.

Leisa:

I love that. I love that. It's so fun. So it's on Chatterbox pod or Chattermouth. Sorry.

Leisa:

Not Chatterbox. Chattermouth. Oh my gosh. Yes. Chattermouth podcast.

Leisa:

I listened to it, and it's really good show. And then you even have your book. I'll just say

Cher:

that again. The A Bond

Leisa:

That Last Forever. And, you guys are just amazing. I Thank

Cher:

you, sir. You guys would love the podcast and love the best friends, BFFs.

Dawn:

That is the best. Yeah.

Leisa:

Aw. Thank you. Well, you never know when you're gonna meet your new new BFF. It could be someone you already know. It could be your mom, for crying out loud.

Leisa:

So you never know. Maybe give your mom a call. Alright, besties. We'll see you on the next episode. Bye.

Leisa:

Hey, bestie. Thanks for listening. If you like this episode, be sure to hit that subscribe button to get notified of new episodes and check out cool bestie gift ideas at how I met my bff.com.

Tamara:

That's right. And also, leave us a review. Those reviews help us out a lot and are one of the best ways to support us. Yes.

Leisa:

And if you have a fun story about how you met your BFF, send us an email at info at how I met my bff.com. We would love to hear about it.

Tamara:

Definitely. And, hey, maybe we'll have you on our next episode.

Leisa:

That would be awesome. Until next time.

Tamara:

Love you, BFFs.