Epic Love: From Chance Meeting to Life Partners
Hey, besties. My name's Lisa.
Tamara Kindred:And my name's Tamara, and we're BFFs.
Leisa Reed:Tamara and I met when we were about 12 years old growing up in good old Fairbanks, Alaska.
Tamara Kindred:And we've been best friends forever since.
Leisa Reed:That's right. And that's why we've decided to have some fun, friendly conversations with the bestest of best friends.
Tamara Kindred:We'll talk about how we became best friends, our experiences together, and have other best friends on the show to share how they met.
Leisa Reed:Who knows? You never know when you'll meet your next BFF.
Tamara Kindred:Now let's get into it, how I met my BFF.
Leisa Reed:Welcome to another episode of how I met my BFF. Hi, Tamara.
Tamara Kindred:Hey, Lisa. How are you?
Leisa Reed:I am well. I have an update on my Doctor. Mary Claire Haver obsession.
Tamara Kindred:Hold on.
Leisa Reed:I read so just to clue in any new listeners today, I finished the new menopause book, and then I also did the Galveston diet book. And I have to say, I'm shocked that I'm able to do this so far, but it's been, like, three weeks that I have been intermittent fasting, which if you know me really well, I really love breakfast. I love eating. I never miss a meal. So it's kind of surprising that I'm able to do it, but I am.
Leisa Reed:And I will say, in all transparency, I'm getting hungry right now because it's like I've got, like, an hour to go, so make it quick. No. I'm just kidding. That's all
Chaya Garcia:about all the food you can eat when you're done.
Leisa Reed:I know. Right? I'm like, I cannot wait. Actually, meeting a friend for lunch, so it'll all be it'll all be worth it. But, yeah, I'm kinda surprised.
Leisa Reed:And I have, I would say I've lost a little bit, but I'm not doing it exactly. I'm not a % following it, but I'm just trying to ease my way into it. I've lost a little bit, but then I also go outside the lines as well. So I can't say it's it's Mary's fault, but but I'm getting there. How are you?
Tamara Kindred:I'm good. I'm, proud of you for trying that. I know it's not your favorite, but, I could intermittent fast all every day.
Leisa Reed:Well, yeah, you can intermittent fast, like, twenty three hours. Right? That's not fair.
Tamara Kindred:Well, not because it's good for me because yeah. Anyways, so, I'm good. It's just been another lovely busy week of pruning, and the winery is gearing up for all of our weddings coming up and events. So I've been super busy with that and my other job with the government, so it's been a lot of fun. But, I'm doing good.
Leisa Reed:Yeah. Wait. And yes. And I speaking of weddings, ironically, our guests today, I think they're married, and I think they might have even gotten married in 2025. Spoiler alert.
Leisa Reed:But, welcome, Haya and Adam. Welcome to our show. Thank you. Thank you so much for having us.
Adam Garcia:Thank you for having us.
Leisa Reed:Yes. We're excited to hear this best friend story. So, Haya, since you voluntold Adam to be on the podcast just kidding. But, why why don't you start us off? How did you meet Adam?
Adam Garcia:By the way, I love that that word voluntold.
Leisa Reed:He's like, wait, what are we doing?
Chaya Garcia:Yeah. So thank you so much for having me. It is truly a pleasure and honor to be here. Thanks for hosting such a beautiful platform to talk about things that are so positive and connective and inspirational. So kudos to you, guys.
Chaya Garcia:And then, so I met Adam. We've actually been married for eight years, and I met him in Hebron in Israel. And there was a huge Shabbatone, a huge gathering for the weekend. And out of thousands of people, God brought us together. And I met him, and as soon as I met him, I knew that he was somebody very special.
Chaya Garcia:And we happened to have been living in the same, town at the time not knowing each other. And he walked me back to where I was staying and got me a ride. And I gave him a ride back to the town that we were both living in. And that's how our beautiful friendship and marriage started.
Leisa Reed:Wow. Adam, why don't you share yours your version of the story?
Adam Garcia:Yeah. Sure. So I underwent maybe, like, six months prior a whole life transformation. I just graduated university, and and I I went to Israel. I was gonna be there for one year and then come home.
Adam Garcia:And at this at this event that we were both at, I out of as Chaya said, out of thousands of people, after the meal, after dinner, I spoke I was talking found myself in a conversation with and two other girls. And we were just having a very very deep, you know, conversation right off the bat. And then come the next day, I saw again, and I felt so comfortable. You know? If you know my personality, I'm not the quote unquote romantic extrovert.
Adam Garcia:But when I saw Chaya, I gave her my jacket. She said she was cold. I picked up on the hints or picked up on the, you know, her emotions, and I gave her my jacket. It's unlike something I would have done. But when you find the right person, you just feel that sense of comfort.
Adam Garcia:So that's where it started.
Leisa Reed:Okay. But just going back to the first conversation, like, how did out of all the thousands of people, how did you guys even end up I mean, you could stand next to someone and still not talk. Like, how did it even spark a conversation? Haya, do you wanna share about that?
Chaya Garcia:Yeah. Sure. So we basically, found a mutual friend. So I was at a table with a friend, and that he that friend also also knew him. So we ended up being at the same table.
Chaya Garcia:I mean, it's divinity. Obviously, it's grace. Obviously, it's timing. But we started that conversation by just being in the same place in the same time and being in a healthy environment. It was an environment that was conducive to growth, that was conducive to spiritual growth, to meeting new people, to doing positive things for your life.
Chaya Garcia:So it was a very nice setting to anyways have lots of conversations with people even if you didn't know them, which then led to, of course, many more conversations.
Leisa Reed:That's so cool. So did it immediately or how long was it friendship only?
Adam Garcia:So friendship for about a week.
Leisa Reed:Oh, okay.
Adam Garcia:And then I asked her out a week late two weeks later, we got engaged. Two and a half weeks later, engaged. Two months later, married.
Chaya Garcia:Three months later, married.
Adam Garcia:Three months later.
Leisa Reed:That's why we have both versions because, know. Right? Wow. They were married within three months.
Chaya Garcia:We were married within four months of knowing each other. We basically so a week after he met me, he asked me out, and two and a half weeks later from dating, he proposed to me. Once we were engaged, three months after that, we got married.
Leisa Reed:Wow. I love that.
Chaya Garcia:When you know. We are extraordinarily happily married now in our eighth year. I wake up every day more and more in love with Adam. He makes me feel like the craziness in the world is irrelevant to the calm love that I have. We have gorgeous kids and a business that we share together.
Chaya Garcia:So it's not about the time, it's about how much work you on yourself and in yourself before you make the decision on who to marry. And I spent many, many, many years getting to know myself, heal my wounds, heal my traumas and love myself before I made a decision on who to marry, which is why the process was so smooth and short. It's not an indication of time. It was indication of all the time that I put on myself before making the decision of who and how to attract my true soulmate. Beautiful.
Adam Garcia:And to and to add to that is that when we met from the very beginning, from day one, there was complete clarity. There was there were not games. Their first conversation with in that small group that we mentioned, we spoke about really sensitive, you know, subjects, you know, like a future future paced subjects. So, like, what are you what are you looking for in a in a potential person, in a potential mate, you know, intimacy, you know, like, hugging, you know, all of this stuff. And so that clarity provided the foundation for either it working out and we know right away, or we also know right away that that it won't work out.
Adam Garcia:And I think that many, many, many people, especially as we start working with people in our company on attracting a healthy love is about becoming clear with what we want. And and then if we're clear with what we want, then when it comes to meeting somebody else, you can then share that in a clear way. So so there's not this back and forth which leads to confusion.
Leisa Reed:And tell us the name of your company.
Chaya Garcia:The company is mostly my name, Chaya Garcia. Okay.
Leisa Reed:I can
Chaya Garcia:hear a different LLC name, but my company is me, Chaya, and I'm the epic love expert. And I'm about to publish a book called the epic love habit. And the the the group coaching that we do as the main part of our business for dating and relationship coaching is called the epic love mastermind or the epiclovemastermind.com, you know, which is where we have our sales page to see how much a cost of what it is. But mostly ebook calls me first so that I can, you know, see, how I can best serve your needs. But so it's high epic love expert.
Chaya Garcia:And then the epic love is the concept, and I am the the brand, so to speak, that teaches and shares the knowledge base and relationship tools to help people have, 10 x their revenue and 10 x their relationships.
Leisa Reed:Wow. And then I remember Adam was mentioning something about this is before we we were hitting record, but he was mentioning something about you have some tips for dating on one of your sites. I think it's married in 2025.com. And there's top seven dating mistakes for I'm sorry. What is it?
Leisa Reed:Tops top seven dating mistakes. The
Adam Garcia:top seven dating mistakes keeping you single.
Leisa Reed:Okay. Okay. Can you share a couple of those? I just you know?
Tamara Kindred:Yes. I'd love to hear it.
Leisa Reed:Wants to know. Of
Chaya Garcia:course. So one of them is misunderstanding attention for love. So a lot of times when, let's say, a man approaches a woman, she'll he will give her attention. He'll call her beautiful. He'll say let's hang out.
Chaya Garcia:And she will think, oh, maybe this is love. And it's not. It's not even remotely the same concept. It's not even remotely the same commitment. It's not even remotely the same heart space and soul space in reality and for the man.
Chaya Garcia:But for the woman, she exchanges or misunderstands or misinterprets interprets attention for love. And he's like, well, she's he's calling me and he's saying I'm beautiful. And he says he he likes me and it's like, oh, maybe he's gonna love me. Maybe he is loving me. Me and love also words are cheap.
Chaya Garcia:So unless he's doing things for commitment without an exchange, without, you know, sex or like, if you're not giving him anything that he would then want to pursue you because of you not for something he can get from another person, then it's very hard to decipher that. So one is attention is not love. If he's not asking you out to date you for marriage or for a committed long term relationship, then he's using you essentially. And we all have needs of love, companionship, attention, and intimacy. He's not a bad guy.
Chaya Garcia:He could be a nice guy who's also not interested in committing to you and you specifically, which means he can show you a lot of attention, take you out and laugh with you, but has absolutely no interest in getting to know your depth and committing to you for the future, which essentially wastes your time and essentially leaves you brokenhearted just in one month or one year or one decade, depending how the road goes.
Leisa Reed:That is an amazing nuance that I had never heard phrased that way. Because I know I definitely I mean, I haven't been single for a long time, but I definitely have been have succumbed to that mistake in the past. So very powerful. And
Adam Garcia:so in a lot of these concepts that we're teaching these men and women, it's directed towards people who are single looking to get married, but these are life skills. Some of the people in our coaching programs are in their sixties and their their children, whatever it is, we all have self love work to do on ourselves. And one of the other tips is feeling worthy of love based on your looks or accomplishments. A lot of times, people, even if you're married, whatever it is, we feel worthy when we make that sale. We feel worthy when we look a certain way.
Adam Garcia:We feel worthy. And so many, many, many people attach their their identity and self worth with what they do. And one of the versus who they are. And the way that we can reclaim that love for ourselves is to to buy ourselves flowers. You know, that's one of the practical tips that Haya has done in her healing journey, and she teaches that in just that that very small act of going to normally what you would do for somebody else, do it for yourself.
Adam Garcia:Also, love notes to yourself, from yourself. And those things one of the things we teach is having a love note wall where you put you know, we all have good days. We all have not so good days. And on those not so good days, if we see in our environment love notes everywhere, it's hard to deny that. So these are the principles that we're educating people on.
Leisa Reed:That is so cool. Go ahead,
Tamara Kindred:Oh, well, I wanted to ask. So, you know, we've done interviews with friends who have been in business, but you guys have that extra layer of also romantically involved and being in business and being best friends. How do you make it work?
Chaya Garcia:A lot of communication and quick forgiveness. So the epic love habit that I teach in the book that's gonna be coming out soon, The same interpersonal and deep skills that you need to succeed in business, which is really essentially a bunch of relationships. You also need in your private life, which is essentially a bunch of relationships. The commonality is who shows up, you. Right?
Chaya Garcia:And the commonality is how you interpret and interpret and then also react to conflict. Do you blame other people? Are you quick to find fault? Or do you take things, do you take full responsibility for everything that happens in your life? And if someone's doing something wrong, you ask yourself, how am I showing up in that same respect?
Chaya Garcia:That a, I'm seeing it, b, it's pissing me off. And three, maybe they're learning it from me because I'm also in the immediate environment. So Adam and I both take full responsibility for things that happen. We communicate constantly the same way you would do in a very rapidly growing business, or marriage. You need to communicate, you talk about the hard things, the feelings, you make space for each other, you make time blocks commitments.
Chaya Garcia:Adam puts me to bed every night, meaning he sits with me before I go to bed and we talk. You know, there's there's, a commitment. There's a commitment for communication, for attention, and for growth. And if you don't have that first with yourself, you cannot have the capacity to manage others. You will be too drained, overwhelmed, and then accidentally angry to find fault in others.
Chaya Garcia:So the Epic Love Habit, which is what I teach is how do I love myself boundlessly, unconditionally, give myself massive amounts of forgiveness and grace. See myself as God sees me versus how I see me. Right? I see me as myself as so flawed. Right?
Chaya Garcia:So f up. So this could be better here, could be better there. But God doesn't see me that way. And it's definitely not gonna help me be kind and loving to people around me if I'm critical on myself because then I will use my critical self to be critical on other people, which makes it, a difficult way to grow rapidly and grow effectively without cracks and a foundation which eventually could.
Leisa Reed:That's so powerful. I love what you guys are offering the world because just even loving yourself and and even the little thing, you know, a little thing of of love note, a little thing of of seeing yourself as God sees you is such a big thing. It's like but everyone can do that. Everyone has access to that. They can, you know, have a pen and paper or a piece pencil and paper.
Leisa Reed:That's you can always choose to have a different perspective. That's super powerful.
Adam Garcia:I think the unique the unique word here is it's a habit, the epic love habit. And the habit is something that we do over and over and over again. The things we teach, they may be very novel, but to to many, they've you know, it's not like something we haven't heard before. But the work that we're doing is how to take that idea and to make it into a habit and to integrate it into our everyday lives. Like, as you said, this small thing, which is a love note, is actually the biggest thing in the world.
Adam Garcia:It's a small act in amount of time invested, but it's really a manifestation of how you think of yourself. If I think of myself as I love myself and I deserve, you know, I I deserve to give to myself the best that I can do, then as an outgrowth of that comes a little love note, and it and it reinforces.
Leisa Reed:I used to when I I had this habit that I did a long time ago where I would if I bought something on Amazon or any any website and it was, you know, something for myself, I would and it's like, would you like to include a note? And I'm like, yes. I would. And I'd be like, dear Lisa, you are a rock star. Enjoy this, whatever it is.
Leisa Reed:You know? Keep being awesome. So that was always fun. My my husband always thought that was funny.
Chaya Garcia:That's the magic. You look at the most successful people in the world. Right? Alex Hermosy, Layla Hermosy, Cody Sanchez, Gary Vaynerchuk, just some names. I'm sure there is others.
Chaya Garcia:They literally all write notes to themselves. I'm like, y'all don't need to look so far. Leila Hermosy, which is for those of you unfamiliar, is this a female CEO of a billion dollar company. And she says, you know, people always ask her, like, why don't you just hire someone else to be the CEO? Like, there's so much going on and you already have made it, so to speak.
Chaya Garcia:You can hire that out. And she said people burn out from being a CEO because they don't know how to love themselves and forgive themselves for all the mistakes that they make and their you know, the pressure is much higher. The peak there's so many people impacted. They don't know how to forgive themselves from their, you know, from their mess ups that they eventually just divvy it out. But she said, I learned how to forgive myself and get to the next screw up so that I can move in a way where I still show up positively for the people around me no matter how difficult things are.
Chaya Garcia:The crux, the epic love habit, the way that you love yourself, speak to yourself, write to yourself is the defining factor whether you grow and eventually crash, which many million dollar companies and marriages do, or you grow and sustain. It is that linchpin to either having energy to maintain conflict over time or the conflict slowly depletes you until the relationship or businesses aren't structurally sound.
Leisa Reed:Oh, I love what you guys are doing. Tamara, do have any last questions?
Tamara Kindred:Well, just to kind of wrap it up, it's been lovely to talk to both of you and could learn so much, I'm sure. I was wondering since you guys are together, and what are you gonna do later on today for fun?
Chaya Garcia:Tonight is actually Friday night, and our our culture in Hodesh is Judaism. So we care we keep Shabbat, which is basically twenty five hours, no phones, no computers, no work, no Zoom calls, no driving even, and we devote about one full day Friday night to Saturday night just to family and community. So we're gonna be having a nice meal together, light candles. My husband stays home or we we celebrate with the family. Tomorrow, we're going out to lunch with a community member.
Chaya Garcia:We walk there instead of driving. Everything is spiritual and emotionally connected to reboot. I feel very blessed to take out to have this practice in my life. I didn't always keep it so easy to be go go go. Let's make more money.
Chaya Garcia:Let's do this. And like when you keep your faith, your heritage, your culture, whatever is important to you, you find you find the truth in the chaos. You find the calm in the chaos because nobody who had a lot of money was ever fulfilled if they didn't also have a private, powerful life. So that's what we're gonna be doing today. We're gonna be keeping Shabbat and lighting candles and having a really nice meal with our children and feeling the power of the truth of why we do all of the healing work we do so that more healthy babies can come into more healthy marriages and continue a better cycle going forward.
Tamara Kindred:Beautiful. Very nice.
Leisa Reed:Adam, did you wanna say anything before we head out?
Adam Garcia:First of all, thank you for having us on your on your platform and to be able to connect, and that's beautiful. And the one thing about Shabbat that I love is that you get to slow down because the most important things are the easiest to look past. And the things that are most chaotic typically are not the things that give us fulfillment. And and so it gives us an opportunity to to slow down and to to to enjoy. So that's what we're gonna be doing.
Tamara Kindred:That's great. Well,
Leisa Reed:like, well, our besties, you never know when you're gonna meet your best next best friend. You never know when you might meet the love of your life, your soulmate, your partner, and, we're just really blessed that we got to spend that time
Chaya Garcia:with you today. Bye, everybody. Thank you so much.
Adam Garcia:Thank you.
Leisa Reed:Hey, Bestie. Thanks for listening. If you like this episode, be sure to hit that subscribe button to get notified of new episodes and check out cool Bestie gift ideas at howImetmybff.com.
Tamara Kindred:That's right. And, also, leave us a review. Those reviews help us out a lot and are one of the best ways to support us.
Leisa Reed:Yes. And if you have a fun story about how you met your b f f, send us an email at info@howImetmybff.com. We would love to hear about it.
Tamara Kindred:Definitely. And, hey, maybe we'll have you on our next episode.
Leisa Reed:That would be awesome. Until next time.
Tamara Kindred:Love you, BFFs.